everybody is jealous at a certain point
每个人都在某个时候嫉妒
his view of being sort of a didn't
他的观点有点像荡妇，我
feel like i was going to be replaced
觉得我不会被
talking with another one for partners
另一个人取代，
that's a interesting social situation
这是一个有趣的社交场合，
then they expect to find myself at 34.
然后他们期望我在 34 岁时找到我。
[Music]
[音乐]
my name is christine and i am
我的 我叫克里斯汀，我
in a polyamorous relationship with three
和三个人处于多角恋关系中，
people it's not gonna be the thing for
这不是
everyone like honestly it's not so
每个人都能接受的，说实话，这不是
polyamory it falls under the umbrella of
多角恋，它属于
non-monogamy which includes a lot of
非一夫一妻制的范畴，其中包括很多
different things like
不同的东西，比如
open relationship swinging all that
开放式关系，摇摆不定
stuff polyamory specifically means being
等等 多角恋具体是指
in uh emotionally committed relationship
with several people everything that i'm
与几个人建立情感上忠诚的关系，我
gonna say is about
要说的一切都是
like my own experience everybody does
关于我自己的经历，每个人做事的
things like differently some people use
方式都不一样，有些人
a hierarchy in their polyamory like
在多角恋中使用等级制度，比如
primary secondary but for me i
主要次要的，但对我来说，我
am not a fan of these terms because it
不喜欢 这些术语，因为它
sounds like somebody is more important
听起来像某人更重要，
which i don't think it's true so i
我不认为这是真的，所以我
prefer referring to nesting clothes and
更喜欢提到嵌套衣服和
combat because it it designates the
战斗，因为它指定了
level of entanglement of each other's
彼此生活的纠缠程度
life my nesting partner is pascal is the
我的嵌套伙伴是帕斯卡是
person that i live with so out of my
我生活的人 和 所以在我的
three partners our lives almost
三个伴侣中，我们的生活几乎
entangled together because we share this
纠缠在一起，因为我们共用这套
flat we are most uh present in each
公寓，我们在彼此的生活中出现的时间最多，
other's lives my close partner is vash
我的亲密伴侣是 Vash，
in the end i like close partner because
最后我喜欢亲密伴侣，因为
uh he lives nearby like he's closed
他住在附近，就像他在
geographically and also of course like
地理位置上很近一样，当然 就像
yeah we're close like i mean i'm close
是的，我们很亲密，就像我的意思是我
with all of my partners with my comet my
和我的所有合作伙伴都很亲密，还有我的彗星，我的
out of town partner it refers to a
外地合作伙伴，它指的是一个
partner who basically goes in and out of
基本上进出
your life some people say satellite but
你生活的合作伙伴，有些人说是卫星，但
i think comet is cuter do you have
我认为彗星更可爱 你有
favorites it's a question that comes by
最爱的人吗？这是一个经常被问到的问题，
quite a lot do you have a favorite
你有最喜欢的
friend or a favorite family member
朋友或家人吗？
or like do you just
或者你只是
love them for what they are in your life
因为他们在你的生活中扮演的角色而爱他们，
and you don't need to have one favorite
你不需要有一个最喜欢的
my partner is pascal we've been together
伴侣 帕斯卡，我们在一起
for
eight years and the first four years of
八年了，前四年
that were monogamous like traditional
是传统的一夫一妻制，
but fairly early on i started discussing
但很早以前，我就开始讨论
the idea of an open relationship
开放关系的想法，
do you remember how you felt
你还记得当时的感受吗？当时我觉得
i was like no way
自己不可能
i'm not doing that um
不这样做
because i think i just had heard like a
因为我觉得我刚刚听过很多关于
lot of stories and stuff of just couples
情侣的故事和事情
that had tried it and where it didn't
尝试过，但
really work out that well keys for this
效果并不好，
to work
at least for me there was of course like
至少对我来说，关键在于
the scheduling the communication and
安排时间、沟通，
also massively the baby steps everything
以及大量的小步骤，一切都
is so flexible you know i think i needed
非常灵活，你知道，我认为我
to be really reassured that we had
需要真正 我确信我们有
long-term plans together and that i felt
长期的计划，而且我觉得
like you know secure
in our relationship i didn't feel like i
我们的关系很安全，我不觉得我会
was going to be replaced yeah i met him
被取代，是的，我
like at work and like we became friends
在工作中遇到了他，我们成为了朋友，
i liked him very much i liked being
我非常喜欢他 喜欢和
around him i was feeling very ready to
他在一起，我感觉非常准备好了，
be like oh i'm gonna at least
比如哦，我至少要
communicate about the agreement i have
沟通一下我
with pascal because then it's his choice
和帕斯卡的协议，因为这样他就可以选择
to say yes or no when she
说是或否，当她
explained um about the situation
解释她当时的情况时，
uh she was in
嗯，
um i initially had the same
我 一开始的
kind of reaction as i think i know most
反应跟大多数人的反应一样，我觉得
people would of kind of oh that's cool
那很酷，
but
但
i don't know if i can end of the day i
我不知道我是否能
like her she likes me this is something
喜欢她，她喜欢我，这是
new and different but then when elliot
新的、不同的东西，但当埃利奥特
came along all the groundwork had been
一切都已经准备好了，
laid already so it
所以事情的发展
went differently she was the only person
有所不同，她是
that i knew who was
我认识的唯一一个处于
in that type of relationship so i
这种关系中的人 所以我
started asking her questions she was
开始问她问题，她
super generous about what she thought
非常慷慨地告诉她，她认为
that could work
什么可以改善
with her relationship everything was
她的关系，一切都是
fresh and we were all discovering this
新鲜的，我们都在探索这一点，
and we had to be careful so that
我们必须小心，这样
everybody is um
每个人都会
happy and nobody gets hurt there's so
开心，没有人会受到伤害，这
many dynamics in play here everybody is
里面有很多动态 在这里玩每个人都会
jealous at a certain point there must be
在某个时候嫉妒一定有
very few people that are like never
极少数人从不
jealous at all polyamory on monogamy is
嫉妒一夫一妻制
not for the people who are never jealous
并不适合那些从不嫉妒的人
we're all human being predominantly
我们都是人类
monogamous in a poly relationship i feel
在多元关系中主要是一夫一妻制我觉得
is something that i didn't even expect
有些 我甚至没有想到
for myself talking with another one for
自己会和另一个人谈论
partners that's a interesting situation
合作伙伴，这是一个有趣的情况，
然后他们希望我在 34 岁时找到我。
in terms of competitiveness or jealousy
在竞争力或嫉妒方面，
i don't see it maybe there's something
我没有看到它，也许
different for other people but i don't
对其他人来说有些不同，但我没有 我
think that i get affected by this i was
认为我不会受到这个的影响，我
always expecting there to be some sort
一直以为会有某种
of big jealousy hit at one point and
巨大的嫉妒情绪，但
that kind of never came
这种情绪从来没有发生过，
we started with a model that's called
我们开始使用一种叫做“
don't ask don't tell some people they
不问不告诉”的模式，有些人他们
want to know everything
想要 知道一切
i'm not like that i would say the things
我不是那样的人，我会说
that i want to know is stuff that is
我想知道的事情是直接
affecting me directly for instance like
影响我的事情，例如，
uh if persian is going on a date on
如果波斯人星期四要去约会，
thursday i would like him to tell me so
我希望他告诉我，
that i don't go home on thursday and be
这样我就不会去了 周四回家，然后
like where is he i personally don't feel
问他在哪里，我个人没有感到
any sort of uh jealousy or resentment
任何嫉妒或怨恨，
and maybe that comes down to when i met
也许这归结于当我遇到
christine she already had a partner i am
克里斯汀时，她已经有了一个伴侣，我
involved with each of these boys but
和这些男孩中的每一个都有关系，但
they are not involved with each other
他们没有参与 彼此之间，
however some of them have like other
但是他们中的一些人有其他
partners or other people that they're
伴侣或他们正在看到的其他人，
seeing
i consider them my friends and
我认为他们是我的朋友，
me and pascal's relationship as a friend
我和pascal的关系是朋友，
me and edius relationship as a friend
我和edius的关系是朋友，
i can talk to pascal i can talk to vash
我可以和pascal交谈，我可以和vash交谈，
and i feel like there's a
我觉得我们
very good communication between all four
四个人之间沟通得很好，
of us
like all of us we all want to like be
我们都想
happy and we all want the others to be
快乐，也希望别人
happy and so we're all working in that
快乐，所以我们都在朝着这个
direction you always put a lot of
方向努力，你总是非常
emphasis on equality time
重视 平等的时间
and there's always abundance of it love
总是充足的爱
is infinite but time and money are not
是无限的 但时间和金钱
on some level everybody can relate to
在某种程度上并不是每个人都能理解的，
that because whatever's in your life
因为无论你生活中有什么，
even if you have only one partner you're
即使你只有一个伴侣，你也
gonna have to divide your time between
必须把你的时间分配给
your partner your work your friends uh
你的伴侣、你的工作、你的朋友、
your hobbies i devote some time to each
你的爱好，我会花一些时间
of them
他们每个人都
like anybody would to something that's
像其他人一样，
important to them our time is
对自己来说很重要的事情，我们的时间很
precious and we fear good quality time
宝贵，我们害怕在一起度过高质量的时间，
together i like that dynamic between us
我喜欢我们之间的这种动态，
i was coming from another relationship
我来自另一段关系，在这段关系中，
where i was feeling very often guilty
我经常
about
对
flirting or being curious i thought it
调情或好奇感到内疚，我认为
was a great opportunity to like break
是一个很好的机会来
down this heteronormative relationship
打破这种异性恋规范关系，
other people if they don't know that
如果其他人不知道
it's possible to be in consensual
有可能在双方同意的
ethical non-monogamy if they love more
道德非一夫一妻制中，如果他们爱上
than one person they might feel guilty
不止一个人，他们可能会感到内疚，
or they might feel like whatever they're
或者他们可能会觉得无论他们
feeling is wrong and bad and i think
感觉是错误的和不好的，我认为
it's
这很
a shame you know like they shouldn't be
遗憾，你知道他们不应该
shamed for who they love we have that in
为他们所爱的人感到羞耻，我们
common with anybody who has a sexuality
和任何性取向
that goes out of the norm and when i say
超出常态的人都有共同之处，当我说
the norm it's like just basically what
常态时，就像 基本上，
society is imposing on us it's not like
社会强加给我们的
something is normal and the rest is bad
东西并不是正常的， 休息是坏的
this view of being sort of a that's
这种观点有点像荡妇这
not what i do i try to be super clear
不是我做的我试图非常清楚
there's an ethical way to look at it
有一种道德的方式来看待它是的
yeah i have a woman in every port but
我在每个港口都有一个女人但这
it depends on what really these women
取决于这些女人真正
need i was interested in this whole idea
需要什么我感兴趣 在
this whole concept of article
这篇文章中，关于非一夫一妻制的整个概念，
non-monogamy because i like the idea of
因为我喜欢
exploring living your authentic life
探索过上真实的生活，
without having to be like dishonest or
而不必像不诚实或
hurting people we pretend that if we
伤害别人那样，我们假装如果我们
feel things for other people we're bad
对别人有感觉，我们就是
people or something but that's not true
坏人或什么的，但是 事实并非如此，
if whatever you want to be doing is not
如果你想做的事不会
hurting anyone then why would you not do
伤害任何人，那你为什么不去做
it especially if it makes you happier
呢，尤其是如果它能让你更快乐，
yeah i think we can do this and have
是的，我认为我们可以做到这一点，让
everybody be happy right
每个人都快乐，对吧，
it's a lot of work
这需要做很多工作